Pahvinaamari
by Jackson1967
Summary: A story tells of Greg's heartbreak and struggles to cope...


Pahvinaamari

Another CSI drabble of mine.

Own nothing - Just the idea.

Greg Sanders had been hiding a dark secret from his friends and they had bugged him to get a girlfriend for a long time but truth was that Greg had been dealt the worst heartbreak in his life.

_Breath you out_

_Breath you in_

Greg thought back to that fateful day that the love of his life, Alisa was killed in a car crash and it had hit Greg hard that she was gone and he knew it was the reason that he joined the CSI team.

_You keep coming back to tell me_

_You're the one who could have been_

Each night, Greg went to the crash site and he cried as his mind flashed back to that day when his life changed forever.

_And my eyes see it all so clear_

None of the team knew about Greg's tragic torement and they had no idea what had made their once happy CSI change into someone who clammed up at most things.

_It was long ago and far away but it never disappears_

As Greg left to go home without speaking to anyone, he just turned his cell phone off and he went to bed and cried into his pillow as he still felt so raw about the loss of his girlfriend Alisa.

_I try to put it in the past_

_Hold on to myself and don't look back_

Greg took the rest of the week off to be on his own and he still felt Alisa's presence with him and he wished she was still alive and he thought what it would of been like now.

_I don't wanna dream about_

_All the things that never were_

_Maybe I can live without_

Catherine had noticed that Greg was not his usual self and she had no idea why, but she wondered if she should ask him why he'd become so quiet over recent months.

_When I'm out from under_

_I don't wanna feel the pain_

_What good would it do me now_

Greg didn't want to tell anyone what he was going through as he was dealing with it well enough or so he thought.

_I'll get it all figured out_

_When I'm out from under_

A few days later, Greg tried to take his own life and, he was found by Catherine who had a spare key to his apartment and she found him motionless on the bathroom floor.

_So let me go_

_Just let me fly away_

Catherine called for paramedics to arrive, when Catherine called Grissom and tells him that Greg tried to take his own life, which scares Grissom who tells the rest of the team.

_Let me feel the space between us growing deeper_

_And much darker every day_

_Watch me now and I'll be someone new_

Greg had to have his stomach pumped as Catherine watched while worrying about him, when the rest of the team arrived and saw their friend in this condition.

_My heart will be unbroken_

_It will open up for everyone but you_

Greg was taken to a private room and he'd told the nurse that he didn't want to see anyone and the nurse respected his wishes.

_Even when I cross the line_

_It's like a lie I've told a thousand times_

Grissom and the team could only watch from the other side of the window at their friend, still unaware of why Greg had tried to take his own life in the way that he had.

_I don't wanna dream about_

_All the things that never were_

_Maybe I can live without_

Greg just closed his eyes and he could see Alisa who kept an eye on him and she tells him not to close his friends out as they're worried about him.

_When I'm out from under_

_I don't wanna feel the pain_

_What good would it do me now_

Greg sighed and asked the nurse to let Catherine into his room, as she agreed.

_I'll get it all figured out_

_When I'm out from under_

Catherine walked into Greg's room and sat down beside him, then asked him why he did it, only for Greg to tell Catherine the truth about Alisa, as Greg cried while telling her.

_And part of me still believes_

_When you say you're gonna stick around_

_And part of me still believes_

Catherine placed her hand on Greg's hand and comforted him about Alisa when Greg makes her promise not to tell anyone the truth.

_We can find a way to work it out_

_But I know that we tried everything we could try_

_So let's just say goodbye_

_Forever_

Catherine agreed not to tell anyone about what had he told her about Alisa who was taken from him in the saddest way possible and he still loved her.

_I don't wanna dream about_

_All the things that never were_

_Maybe I can live without_

_When I'm out from under_

Greg was allowed out of hospital a couple days later and he still never admitted the sad truth to anyone apart from Catherine who promised that she would never reveal it to anyone.

_I don't wanna feel the pain_

_What good would it do me now_

_I'll get it all figured out_

_When I'm out from under_

A year had passed since what Greg did and he'd been feeling ok but underneath the brave face was the agony that still lurked below and he knew that it would always be there.

_I don't wanna dream about_

_All the things that never were_

_Maybe I can live without_

_When I'm out from under_

Grissom watched over Greg in the lab and he noticed that Greg no longer played rock music but something more softer which had also taken the rest of the team by surprise that Greg had changed the music.

_I don't wanna feel the pain_

_What good would it do me now_

_I'll get it all figured out_

_When I'm out from under_

Greg walked along the the path in the park as he scattered Alisa's ashes in their fav spot and he whispered something to the air and he sighed knowing that he would remember her for the rest of his life. Always.

_When I'm out from under_

The End


End file.
